Julane

Renewal

2010-02-12T11:00:00.000-08:00

I’ve been hibernating this winter…..more than any other winter that I can remember. The snow and cold that crossed the country kept us housebound for a few days so I’ve felt a little like a bear (except I don’t think they eat during hibernation).

Even though bears have been extinct in Ireland for a thousand years, I remember a cave I visited there that had a formation of a “nest” where the bears hibernated. It was a wonderful symbol of the cycles of life – a reminder that going into the dark to rest, renew and refresh can be a good thing.

There’s a part of me that feels drawn to the dark and another part that resists it. There is just a little spark of excitement at the possibility of this being a lovely time and a little wondering if I’m going to miss something that’s going on outside. I usually end up discovering that this time of hibernation has done its work of restoration.

I value both the inner and outer times – they help me maintain the balance in my life and I like the freedom of knowing I can live with the tension of “holding” both worlds.

We all have different reasons and ways of entering the dark. Sometimes it’s helpful to have a guide....poetry has been one of mine. Robert Bly translated this one of Rainer Maria Rilke.

SUNSET

Slowly the west reaches for clothes of new colors
which it passes to a row of ancient trees.
You look, and soon these two worlds both leave you,
one part climbs toward heaven, one sinks to earth,

leaving you, not really belonging to either,
not so hopelessly dark as that house that is silent,
not so unswervingly given to the eternal as that thing
that turns to a star each night and climbs –

leaving you (it is impossible to untangle the threads)
your own life, timid and standing high and growing,
so that, sometimes blocked in, sometimes reaching out,
one moment your life is a stone in you, and the next, a star.

Rainer Maria Rilke

What has this winter been like for you? Have you hibernated?
Who are the guides for your journey? Who offers support for you as you seek
to know yourself better?

Fire In The Hearth

2010-02-06T09:43:00.000-08:00

Wood fires burning….
I’m wrapped up in the warmth of the fire
lifting and stirring
bringing the flame of the fire to life again.

Peat fires burning….
My Celtic sister lifting and stirring
the flame of love she will keep burning for
herself, her family, the whole world.

At the end of her day she’s on her knees
“smooring” or smothering the fire
to let it rest…not to extinguish ...
making sure the spark is still there

At the end of my day, I creep out of bed
to spend a few more minutes
wrapped in the warmth of the fire
not wanting to leave while the spark is still there.

I’ve been “smooring” or smothering my flame this Winter in order to pause, reflect, rest and be renewed. I've been asking myself:

What are the ways I can lift my “peat” in order to come to life again?

What does the first flickering of the flame symbolize for me?

Would you share with me how this time of Winter has “smoored” or stirred you?

The Life You're Living.......

2010-02-02T12:59:00.000-08:00

I’ve been thinking today about my good friend and my aunt…..both of whom taught me a lot about having fun. They knew the importance of doing everyday things with a spirit of fun and sacredness…..although I’m not sure that either of them would have thought of it that way….as sacred. And, I don’t remember either of them wondering aloud “Am I on the right path?” or “What is the meaning of my life?”

They were living each moment to its fullest. It wasn’t just in the big things like family, meaningful work and travel. It was in the little things….. the time before dinner….sitting down to listen and talk with family or friends…..using cloth napkins at every meal….lighting a candle for dinner – even when there are no guests.

I think they just lived each day with intention. Having the ability to live that way can energize and fulfill us while enhancing the lives of those around us.

One of the best ways to live your life with intention is to listen to yourself and others deeply. What resonates for you? I’ve decided I don’t want to wake up when I’m 70 and discover that I’ve been living someone else’s life. I want to be what God has created me to be….fully myself.

Living with intention doesn’t mean, of course, that we will be spared from mistakes or suffering; however, it does mean that we have been involved in making our lives more soulful.

What kind of intentional rituals can you create that will give you energy? An exercise that has been helpful for me is to imagine myself 20 years from now…..what would that 87 year old woman be telling me? What kind of advice would she be giving me on how to be living my life right now? Try it – imagine yourself 20 years from now. What would that older you be telling you? Make some notes and refer back to them often. I'd love for you to share with me and other readers.

Living your life with intention isn’t easy……is it worth doing? Absolutely!

A White Christmas in Oklahoma

2009-12-28T13:23:00.000-08:00

We had a wonder-full white Christmas in Oklahoma this year. (a record-breaking 14 inches) We kept the home fires burning....celebrated the birth of Jesus.....each other..... and the beautiful cardinals in our backyard. The first few photos were taken during the Christmas Eve blizzard,,,,the others were taken the day after Christmas. I hope you enjoy!

I wish all a happy, peaceful and loving 2010.

"Love is Day Labor...."

2009-11-07T07:26:00.000-08:00

Audrey Streetman is an author, published poet and a "sharer" in the sacred journey. Here are some of her ponderings and a poem. Thank you Audrey.

"How special to be a guest on your blog. I was reflecting on our lunch last week: the energized conversation of two women who connected, not just at the heart, but at the level of the ear. We heard each other!

I came home and immediately pulled from the bookshelf Sue Monk Kidd’s “The Dance of the Dissident Daughter,” a book about one woman’s journey from the Christian tradition to the Sacred Feminine. I re-read the many underlined passages and felt energized all over again.

I asked myself (and not for the first time) the odd question: what does it mean to be spiritual as a woman? It’s an easy cliché to say...it’s the hard labor of giving birth.... but it’s the best metaphor I know.

Rainer Maria Rilke said “love is day labor, day labor” and giving birth to yourself IS an act of Love that comes with hard labor in the dark with only a book for a flashlight. And whatever book you are reading at the time, it’s almost certain it will not be the Bible, but a book written by a woman who is taking the journey. And I use the present tense – is taking – because the journey is never over. In our culture where the feminine is devalued, how easy it is to fall back, to want to “reupholster that old rut.”

So thank you for reminding me that my poetry reflects my journey to the Sacred Feminine, and to incorporate it into my memoir will affirm that I continue to labor with women everywhere as consciousness rises up from the well. "

DIVINE CHILD

In the fullness
of time

words woven
by the wind

caress the mouth
with a hot breath

and at the breast
the baby sleeps

lips slightly apart
wet and sticky

her tiny hand
extended palm up

outward into the world.

It's Better to Jump the Abyss Than to Reupholster Your Rut

2009-11-03T10:18:00.000-08:00

Two years ago, as I was preparing for a new and courageous experience ….by myself……in northern California…..I called a friend and expressed some anxiety to her about what I was doing. She said “Julane, It’s better to jump the abyss than to reupholster your rut”. “You’re right” I said, “I love it” and continued on down the road to an important and valuable experience.

It was 1949……..I was 7 years old…. and in the summers our weekly treat was to go to town on Sunday afternoons to the swimming pool. First we had to go to church and then eat Sunday dinner and then Dad had to read the Sunday paper. We thought the time would never come when we would climb in our Chevy and drive the 7 miles to town. One unforgettable Sunday afternoon, I decided it was time to jump off the high diving board. Dad and Mom were sitting on the benches outside the pool , I climbed the ladder, walked to the end of the diving board and shook with fear. I looked at my Dad and heard him yell “Go on…..you can do it!”

Obviously, at that young age of 7 my ruts weren’t very deep….. and I’m sure I’ve reupholstered my rut many times since then. Most of the time though, I’m willing to take risks, try new things and be open to new adventures (while shaking in my boots).

What do you do to nudge yourself in to jumping the abyss rather than reupholstering your rut? (I have to admit that the rut feels really good and it's a treat to snuggle down in and stay there for a while!)

I'd love to have you share your thoughts and thanks, Robert, for sharing this old picture of a "good time place".

Standing On Holy Ground

2009-09-30T01:00:00.000-07:00

Earlier this month, I returned from a retreat in Sedona, Az. One afternoon three of us hiked these beautiful red rocks to reach the top of this mountain. We were anxious to experience the energy at the site of the Boynton Vortex.

Apparently the energy at the site strengthens the yin/yang or masculine/feminine balance. There were many pyramids of rocks piled at the point of greatest energy. Although I felt a great sense of energy from being there, I also know that I have an energy that is readily available to me in those moments when I recognize I am always standing on holy ground.

I've been pondering the question "who would I be if I actually felt the sense of freedom that would come if I could more often remember I am always standing on holy ground"?

I know this experience is available and it takes a fierce kind of attention to recognize the fullness of these moments. I have them.....and oh.....how I wish they were more than just moments.

I "wake up" when I climb to a beautiful vortex site or when my 5 year old granddaughter says, when I've just told her she can spend the night, "Oh Grammy, I could just cry tears of joy".

And.....I "wake up" when I've just read one of Mary Oliver's lovely poems.

As you read the following verse from one of my favorites, think about how much fierce attention you'd have to have in order to notice this:

"This afternoon a gull sailing over

our house was casually scratching

its stomach of white feathers with one

pink foot as it flew.

Oh Lord, how shining and festive is your gift to us,

if we only look and see."

Will you ponder with me the question "Who would I be if I actually felt the sense of freedom that would come if I remember I am always standing on holy ground?"

I'd love to have you share with me your ponderings.

I'm Trying to Remember.....

2009-09-28T08:10:00.000-07:00

Naomi Shihab Nye in one of her wonderful poems The Art of Disappearing says "You're trying to remember something too important to forget. Trees. The monastery bell at twilight.....Walk around feeling like a leaf. Know you could tumble any second. Then decide what to do with your time."

This Summer much of my time has been spent journeying.....a week with friends in Minnesota....a week with friends in Virginia.....a week at a retreat in Sedona, Az. During those weeks, I've remembered to notice the trees, hear the monastery bell at twilight and walk around feeling like a leaf.

Leaves......look at this great stitch plant on the forest floor in Virginia.....notice how the leaves are stitched together......just like us.
A hike through that same forest has one beautiful scene after another.

Willow lives at the Greenbriar in Virginia. I had a wonderful opportunity to make friends with her while there.

I "took the cure" where Thomas Jefferson did in Warm Springs. He found his way to those mineral springs in 1818 - a place that provides a natural remedy to whatever ailments you might have. It was a large deep pool formed from natural rocks with lots of bubbles rising from the stones that form the bottom of the pool. The roof is nothing but rafters and the feeling of looking up while floating in this wonderful warm water was.......Sigh.......

I'm trying to remember to walk around feeling like a leaf.....knowing I could tumble at any second.....I hope we'll all take time to notice during this Autumn of tumbling leaves.

Too Much Fun To Stop

2009-08-07T09:34:00.000-07:00

A few years ago I was biking with a group of women in Wales. We experienced all different kinds of terrain…..a path alongside a peaceful river, a field with no path at all, hills and narrow paths with shrubs. A time of rest included stopping for tea and sitting on top of a bunker that had been used in World War II.

We would occasionally get separated from one another. At one point, I was flying down a hill when I heard the others yell to me from the side of the road……"here we are…..stop”. I hollered back “I’m having too much fun to stop”. When I heard myself say that, I was suddenly struck with “that’s right…..I'm having too much fun to stop”. I’ve pondered that statement many times since then …….about life and having too much fun to stop.

A few years ago I retired from the business I co-created with my friend and partner. I loved what we were doing and it was time to give myself space to “take bigger bites”. (I’m borrowing that phrase from Linda Ellerbee’s book Take Big Bites). Even though that decision allowed me to take those bigger bites of traveling, family and friends, I again realized I was having too much fun to stop.

The last couple of years I’ve been doing some business coaching and consulting in a medical office. I hope I never get to the place where I will not be able to say “I’m having too much fun to stop”. For me it has to do with being challenged, creative, productive and having fun.

What are the ways that you’re having too much fun to stop? Is your work so rewarding and fun that you’d be doing it even if you weren’t getting paid? I’d love to hear from you.

Weeds & Peach Seed Soup - Part 2

2009-06-26T09:00:00.000-07:00

In my May 9th posting I wrote about the Mediterranean Stuffed Salmon Fillets with Lime Hollandaise. Several people have asked me for the recipe. I found it in a wonderful cookbook by Annabel Langbein called Cooking to Impress Without Stress.

That writing has prompted several great conversations about cooking as part of the sacred journey. It's the inviting, arranging, cooking, serving, caring for and enjoying the guests that makes cooking such an important part of my sacred journeying.

Here it is. Be sure to check out her beautiful website:

http://www.annabel-langbein.com/

Serves: 6-8
Make Ahead: salmon can be stuffed up to 12 hours ahead if kept well chilled

6 - 5 oz. boneless, skinless salmon fillets, cut from the thick end
salt and freshly ground black pepper
juice of 1/2 lemon

Stuffing:

1/4 cup finely chopped Italian parsley
1/4 cup pine nuts, lightly toasted
finely grated zest of 1 lemon
10-12 pitted black olives, chopped

Line a baking tray with baking parchment. Using a very sharp knife cut a thin slash on an angle on the top of each piece of salmon. Combine parsley, pine nuts, zest and olives and stuff about 1 tbsp mixture into each slash. Cover and chill until ready to cook.

Heat oven to 425 F. Season fish with salt and pepper and squeeze over lemon juice. Bake 6-8 minutes or until just cooked through.

Serve salmon with a spoonful of Easy Lime Hollandaise.
I served it with steamed asparagus and put a dollop of hollandaise on it as well.

Easy Lime Hollandaise (Use lemons if preferred)

3 fresh egg yolks, at room temperature
1 tbsp lime juice
1/2 tsp salt
several grinds black pepper
1/2 cup butter

Blitz yolks, lime juice, salt and pepper in a food processor or blender. Heat butter until bubbling but not browned (it needs to be very hot for the sauce to fully thicken). With motor running, gradually add hot butter to egg mixture in a slow stream. Chill if not using within a couple of hours.

If sauce has been chilled, reheat with care as it will curdle if overheated. The best way to do this is to sit a bowl of sauce inside a bowl of hot water for a minute or two.

ENJOY!

Living at the Center

2009-06-25T11:00:00.000-07:00

We're having 100 degree weather in Oklahoma so the first thing I do early each morning is water the gardens.

The last two mornings, I've walked out of the house and run right into the middle of a spider web. I imagine I look hilarious as I frantically knock it out of the way.

I'm reminded of a few years ago when we had a spider web on our front porch. I would run into the web and wave my arms around frantically trying to get it out of my face and hair. After a couple of those beatings the spider decided to move. She moved to her new spot....a few feet away from the line of traffic and most certainly out of MY way.

I really became quite attached to watching her re-building process....I watched her each day....amazed at her perseverance. During the day the web would disappear and a new one would go up each evening.

It appeared she only did what she needed to do in order to take care of her needs for the day. She spent most of her time at the center of the web.....only leaving her center when it was necessary. It happened very quickly...she'd go out, grab an insect that had been caught in the web and then head back to the center. She must have been very focused in order to know when to leave her center and when not to.

I gained wisdom from this little creature about spending energy unnecessarily. These last few mornings, I've again been reminded that when I stay centered my energies will be spent in much wiser ways.

I'm thankful I notice.....I'm thankful there are gifts all around me and sometimes in the most unexpected places....spider webs.....resting puppies......beautiful butterflies.....on these warm days of Summer.

Are we the only ones of God's creatures that spend so much needless effort from day to day? I'd love to hear some ways that you practice staying centered.

Hiking Elk Mountain

2009-05-19T09:15:00.000-07:00

If you'd like to have a feeling of what the old west was like, I can highly recommend spending a day hiking in the Wichita Mountains Wildlife Refuge. I did that last week. It's located in Southwestern Oklahoma...a short two hour drive from Oklahoma City.

Spring flowers were beautiful and abundant....the bison roaming free were majestic....the prairie dogs were scurrying to manage their daily chores.

Hiking to the summit of Elk Mountain is gorgeous and moderately challenging......reaching the top....standing in the mist....looking out at the 60,000 acres was like having a moisturizing spa treatment.

A tired body......a renewed soul......a wonderful world.

"Be Still and Listen"

2009-05-12T14:09:00.000-07:00

When my sixteen year old granddaughter, Montana, was five we were sitting on my front porch, our backs leaning up against the door trying to stay out of the rain. While we were sitting there quietly, I looked at her sweet little face and asked her "what do you hear?" She said "The trees". When I asked her what the trees were telling her she responded "they're telling me to be still and listen". Wow....the wisdom of a five year old.

Today, I'm sitting quietly reading a new poetry book and hear rain. I am reminded of that front porch conversation and Montana's wisdom....."be still and listen". In a talk we were having a few days ago she was sharing about a decision she's made....her process of decision making demonstrating that she still has that wonderful gift of deeply listening to herself.

These days I have less distractions, so find it easier to slow down and listen deeper. Some of the ways I do that are by taking walks, journaling, gardening, praying, laughing, working on my dreams and listening to great music. Often the listening deeper is not about having to know more..... it's about becoming comfortable with the not knowing. These days I think I like knowing less and trusting more.

It's hard to remember in our sometimes hurried days that all we really need is deep within us waiting to unfold and reveal itself. All we have to do is take the time to "be still and listen". The poet Rilke says, in one of his Love Poems to God...."I want to unfold. Let no place in me hold itself closed, for where I am closed, I am false. I want to stay clear in your sight."

I Kings 19 says "..... Elijah runs to Mt. Horeb. He looks for God, as did Moses, in the wind, earthquake, and fire, symbols of the mountain god. However, Elijah meets God in the 'sound of a gentle breeze'."

How can you listen more deeply in order to be clearer about who you are and where your heart's voice would lead you? I'd love your comments about ways that you "be still and listen".

Weeds and Peach Seed Soup

2009-05-09T20:47:00.000-07:00

My mother loved to tell a story about how I, as a child, would come bounding up the front porch every day after school wondering what I could bake or cook. It must have been in my blood because I remember at a very young age my sister, my neighbor Sonja and I had a restaurant. My dad built a rock fire place in our back yard and we would make soup from peach seeds, green leafy weeds and water. The neighbor kids were our guests.

Growing up sixty plus years ago in a small town in rural Iowa, population 150, makes homemade peach seed soup in the back yard perfectly acceptable. I can still taste those peaches and smell those spinach shaped weeds.

Fortunately, my taste and skills have evolved from weeds and peach seeds to cooking with rosemary, basil, dill, parsley, oregano, thyme, arugula and cilantro....all of which grow right outside my back door. I find it hard to describe the feelings I have when I'm sitting in the middle of my herb garden experiencing those wonderful scents.
Although I love sharing meals with friends any time of the year, I really love it now because of my garden fresh ingredients. I'm lifted to a different place as I experience the touch and scent of those herbs and tomatoes. A few evenings ago, I made a yummy salmon dish. After making a thin slash on top of the fillet, I stuffed it with a combination of Italian flat leaf parsley, toasted pine nuts, lemon zest and chopped ripe olives.......baked it in a hot oven......served it with a homemade lime hollandaise sauce....mmm......the joy of cooking.

I'd love to have you share your early memories of gardens and cooking. Do you have a garden now or are you interested in starting one? It's been good for my soul....maybe yours too? Add your comments below.

Laughter is the Best Medicine

2009-05-03T12:48:00.000-07:00

For the past 6 weeks I've been thinking about playing a joke on my nephew. He and I have a silly kind of relationship....laughing on the phone, laughing through email, laughing while cooking. This week my husband, with astonishment, said "You're driving 10 hours for a 3 minute laugh?". "You bet I am", I said "and that laugh will be worth every minute of the 10 hour drive."

Although sharing the nature of the joke would be too wordy for this blog, I can tell you I felt like a million dollars driving home that day. I thought more about the sacredness of laughter...how healing it is, what a great workout it gave my body (my face ached and my sides ached)....surely calories were burned?.......to sum it all up, I just felt good.

After 40 plus years of marriage, if it weren't for humor we probably wouldn't still be married. Humor has bound us together, lightened our burdens and helped us keep things in perspective. And......as my youngest granddaughter said (when she pronounced an R as an L), "Oh Glammy, you clack me up".

I'd love to have your comments on how you and family or friends "clack" each other up. What are some of the ways you've learned how to laugh at yourself and take yourself more lightly?

Who Hath Praise Enough?

2009-04-23T13:43:00.000-07:00

What a wonder-full time of the year. I think God has been in our yard decorating for a great party......I imagine it's happening in your gardens as well.

I'm reminded of a line in one of Mary Oliver's lovely poems.

"I look; morning to night I am never done with looking.
Looking I mean not just standing around, but standing around
as though with your arms wide open."

Practicing presence.....standing around with my arms and eyes wide open.....
ahhhh, yes.........if I'm not too hurried to remember.

This week let's slow down and see what we notice....pick a few pansies and brighten up your salad , light a candle for your dinner table, listen to the birds in the morning, plant some basil and rosemary....enjoy their wonderful aroma.

Listen to your life and then share......your experiences will remind and renew me.

Living in the Present

2009-04-16T17:19:00.000-07:00

A few days ago I was meeting the girls.....the girls with the grandmother faces....for lunch at 1:00. On my hands and knees working in my garden, I asked Bill the time. When he said 1:40, I jumped up, did the few necessary things to be seen in public and drove off hoping the girls would still be there.

I arrived when they were preparing to leave, and once again I found myself thinking about what I've been pondering for years now......"how do I live more in the present?" Well....this was one more example of my yet unanswered question. Here I was....on my knees....totally in the present....digging in this wonderful earth and missed my 1:00 future. Do I need to wear a buzzer that will go off when my 1:00 future is here so I won't miss it because I'm enjoying the present?

Seriously.....although I don't spend a lot of time looking at the past or wondering "what if?", I sure can get caught up wondering about tomorrow. Obviously, there are times when I need to make plans....for myself....and with others. Maybe it's about being flexible, trusting the process, praying and breathing.

What are some of the ways you practice staying in the present? I'd love your comments.

Join Me On The Journey

2009-04-05T11:22:00.001-07:00

Here it is.....time......time to write my first message on my new blog. For several days now, I've been sitting.....anxiety ridden over sending it out.

I committed myself to this path months ago.....(Note: Autumn photo......Spring outside)

This delay is causing me to think about the anxiety that can come from committing myself to a certain path and then facing what that path has put in front of me.....in this case.....an empty page. It's causing me to think about the sacredness of saying "yes" to something and not knowing what lies ahead. That's the way I feel today. I've said yes to this journey and I feel both angst and excitement at what lies ahead on the journey of blogging.

Recently I was leading a Sacred Journey retreat in Connecticut. To those 37 women I said "our journeys are not necessarily about spending a lot of effort acquiring something that we don't have. They are often about becoming aware of and appreciating what we already do have." Thomas Merton, a great Catholic mystic, wrote about the breakthrough to the already - "a coming to be in touch with that which is resident in our present situation and in becoming more aware of that, we come into greater and greater potency in our lives".

I'm looking forward to coming into greater and greater potency in my life and sharing more with one another about our sacred journeys. Let me hear from you.